Secrets
by CookiePrusiana
Summary: One day. Just one day a year that all three of the B.T.T. stop pretending they're okay, and succumb to the little pain they feel. Broken by death, Broken by being forgotten and Broken by loneliness. But in the end, they have each other, and each other is all they need.
1. France

It was that day again. The day she was burned at the stake.

France slowly opened his eyes. The day was already weighing on his bones and his hand reached for the only relief he knew.

The bottle was freezing in his hands (He had turned off his heater, and his morning were kinda cold) but he uncorked it nonetheless.

He didn't even raise his head as he stuck the mouth of the bottle into his lips, letting the smooth liquid swish down his throat and burn lightly to his gullet.

In a couple of minutes, the buzz would come and take him away. He prayed it would come before the tears.

He usually makes breakfast around this time. He usually showers and shaves.

He usually does a lot of things.

Not today.

Dragging his already tipsy body to the living room, he feels the tears. Hot mercury falls down his face, but he doesn't sob. There is no noise from his lips. He had learned not to, since the neighbors would worry. This usually happy and perverted man down in the slumps? That was something they should investigate.

He wanted to be left alone.

He doesn't even lay on the sofa. Just slips his aching body forcibly onto the ground, and begins to let the tears flow faster.

It hurts inside. He misses her so bad. He wants her back.

He can t have her back. That s what happens when your a country. You see people that are actually deserving of immortality, yet they slip through your fingers like water. But, instead of just drifting back into the rest of the world, it leaves you raw. It leaves you to bleed

It leaves you to die inside and regret every second of every moment when you didn t do something.

He swallows more of the red liquid, and sniffles. Wrapping himself tighter into the blankets, he stares at the darkness. The darkness is nice.

It s comforting. It s warm, it s lulling.. It s inviting.

It shows you nothing. Nothing bad. Nothing good. Something you can stare at with a clear conscious and not be judged or mocked by it.

He drinks more, to a point were he is hiccuping and there is no feeling in his heart.

Knock knock!

He doesn't move. No time has passed in his little cocoon, and he wants it that way. His nose is dug into his carpet, and he smells nice pine from his cleaning powder.

knock knock knock knock KNOCK KNOCK

He doesn't move.

There is a rustle, and the door swings open.

"Liebe?"

"Amor?"

Oh.. god. He doesn't want to think of love. At all. It s the reason he s in this slump anyway.

There is light footsteps along with heavy clunks. He recognizes them anywhere.

A sigh, and a gasp make him rustle himself from his makeshift nest.

"Que voulez-vouz..."

he sniffles and sits up. The light hurts his eyes, and he puts the bottle again to his lips. Instead of finding the reassuring liquid, he finds air. Even when he shakes it, nothing comes out.

Soft hands take his bottle, and he hears his refrigerator opening. His eyes adjust and soft red eyes are staring at him.

Francis Prussia leans in and kisses France s forehead. Spain comes out of the kitchen and hands him a glass of water.

"Fransisco"

Spain pulls him into a hug, and France clutches him. Prussia cooes lightly, and pets his hair. Spain peppers his hair with kisses and sings in spanish.

And France cries. He cries and cries and cries.

Because it doesn't matter how miserable he is

His friends understand His friends will hug him till he s better. Kiss the tears away.

They"ll always be with him

They now his secret

He s not the way he is because he wants to. He s the way he is because he needs to numb the pain.

And they're okay with that.

Because they love him.

They love him .

_ 000

Some B.T.T. friendship feels for you. Its fucking two a.m. im listening to My Chemical Romance

Fuck. I need a life

But i while post Prussia's angst and Spain's angst. Maybe later. Right now, I need to talk with Mr. Sandman


	2. Prussia

It was that day again. The day he stopped being important.

He's been staring at the wall the whole entire night, still as a corpse. He hasn't moved from his fetal position, hoping numb himself.

He doesn't drink alcohol today. Out of all the days, he hates alcohol today. It makes the memories fresh and it makes him relive them.  
The clock on his bedside beeps quietly, and he knows it s around 6. His brother usually wakes at this time to go out jogging. He sighs and presses it off.

There is shuffling upstairs and he cringes. His brother probably doesn't remember. It s fine. He doesn't need to remember

He doesn't need to remember his brother.

He stays quiet as the house fills with silence again. A thin pale hand slides from underneath warm and fluffy yellow cover. He presses the button on his IPod and suddenly bangs and screams his room.

He moves his fingers down his playlist and finds one labeled-

_Day 25_

It s hidden underneath all his happy upbeat music, but he finds it. The angry music fills his ears and the small room, making his anger leave him.

He never wanted to feel anger. Anger was just something that he was never good at feeling.

Sadness well... He was Prussia sadness he could deal with.

Tears rolled down his face and he was soon sobbing quietly into his pillow. He hiccuped and shook underneath his covers. He couldn't take the thoughts of him breaking.

He lived day by day not knowing if that day was his last, and this

Just... he never showed it. He wanted no one to know how hurt he was inside. America would apologize so many times, but he just couldn't take the idea that the kid held himself accountable for Prussia's own actions.

It was his own fault. It was his own fault that he lay here without the drum and steady humming of his people.

His own fault... his own fault .

Someone bangs on his door and screams at him. He only glares at the wall and feels more tears roll down his face.

The person that hates him is the person that took everything away from him. He gave his life for him, yet he pushes him aside like a child.

The pounding stops, and he begins to sob harder.

He secretly wants it all to end. He wants the misery just to stop.

Silence fills his room as the song stops.

He's alone again.

He can't stop sobbing though.

A while passes and his pillow has turned a darker color because of his salty tears. He doesn't care.

He sniffles and curls up against himself trying to find some warmth in himself. He himself is warm, but he feels cold inside.

He's cold inside.

Another song pauses, and a small knock interrupts the pause in the screamo song.

"Gilberto?"

He doesn't move.

Let him wallow in his sadness god damn it.

There is a clicking at his door, and it swings open.

A blond man with shoulder length hair smiles. He has a bottle of water and homemade french toast. It steams off the plate and maple syrup drips off the plate.

Spain has a giant smile on his face and he has a Wii in his hands.

Prussia gets up and as they walk down the stairs. France cuts a piece of toast and sticks it into Prussia's mouth.

They're strawberry flavored.

France does not enjoy strawberries, so him going out of his way to make them...

Prussia feels tears well up in his eyes.

France smiles and Spain laughs as he connects the game to the computer.

Prussia falls into France s chest and sobs.

"God fucking damn it I love you guys."

France smiles and rubbed his platinum hair.

"No matter what you do-"

"And no matter how much you fuck up, Amigo"

Spain and France both kissed the albino s cheeks, making him flush with gratitude.

"We will always love you."

Prussia cried.

They loved him. That's all he needed.

0000

Germany stared from upstairs as the B.T.T.

They had worn themselves out playing video games and laughing all day.

Prussia was on France's chest, snoring, while Spain clutched Prussia hips like a child.

He sighed and tried to swallow the knot in his throat.

Out of all the things he could do for his brother, he will never understand why he's so hurt. He doesn't know how to make him feel better.

He bites his lip, and turns around.

He will never be able to help his brother

No matter how hard he tries.

000

Yeah.. Second part of the three parter B.T.T Secrets. The whole point of the title "Secrets"as It s that they are actually hidden parts of them that they hate. They secretly hurt like everyone else, except they try to make their better feeling more know

I should've made this one were he regrets not helping H.R.E., but that's a little too much pain for my baby, huh?

Last chapter updated next week!


	3. Spain

It was that day again. The day he lost it all.

Mexico, Romano, Phillipines and almost all other latin nations are tense and quiet. Spain is in an incredibly unusual mood.

His eyes are misty and his smile quavers lightly. He shakes lightly in his seat and he tries in vain to hold his pencil.

Deep down in his chest there is an empty hole, eating an gnawing angrily at him. He shakes and tries to smile. He forces it on himself.

His emerald eyes glitter with tears but he holds. America is rambling about some nonsense.

Concentrate on the nonsense Concentrate on the nonsense

Concentrate on the-

"Hey... bro you look like you're gonna cry. Are you okay?"

America just went and did it.

Spain hiccuped and then tears burst like dams falling down his face. He sobs loudly and all the nations that used to be his charges all winced. Mexico was close to tears and Romano was looked utterly depressed.

Spain s face was utterly heartbroken. His face turned into a distressed man's and hot and large tears rolled down his tanned skin.

He sobbed and shook against himself and he sniffled harshly. He wasn t one to bottle his emotions well..

Everyone turned to glare at the american who only pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to him. Spain took it gratefully and and stared at him.

"I I-i-"

"It's okay. Go outside and get some fresh air, m'kay?" America's face was soft and he patted the man's back. The spaniard shook his head and walked outside.

The room was left in a stunned silence, since the man was never sad. A sudden heart wrenching sob made all of them jump, since the door hadn't completely closed. Everyone winced as the sound of snot blowing into something resounded in the room.

France sighed.

"Ah, mon cher-"

Prussia got up and slowly walked to the door.

"Time to cheer up an old friend." He smiled and motioned to France who only smiled back.

Spain cried and cried, making the receptionist stare at him awkwardly. He shook her off, and and walked to the opening in the stuffy building. He sat on a small bench built for three and bawled his eyes out.

"MALDITA SEA!" He screamed and pouted like a child. He shook with sobs and and kicked and screamed. He was angry.

Everyone always left him. Always. Hidden inside the smiling emerald eyes and bright smile was someone alone and scared. He wanted someone to be with. He needed to feel like he was needed.

He sobbed harder and got on the ground. He punched it harder and his rage suddenly let out. He began to throw a fit.

"PINCHE MIERDA! PIENSAN QUE NO LOS QUIERO?" The strength and anger that he had used in his pirate days suddenly came out. He roared and uplifted a branch, and began to smack it onto another tree.

There was a startling crack and the tree began to bend.

"JODER!" He bleated out and smacked the tree.

"YO LOS CUIDE!"

**SMACK!**

"YO LOS AME!"

**SMACK!**

"YO LOS PERDIE.."

_**CRACK!**_

The tree cracked in half and it fell forward. He huffed in anger, breathing in and out like a bull. His eyes large and turning into a burning green flame. He snorted and kicked the ground.

He threw his head back and roared.

"JO DE PUTA!" He screamed and then fell, tired and shaking. His hands where full of splinters and he felt large liquid mercury fall down his cheeks, and startling noises came from his lips.

He didn't know that the entire meeting was staring at the destruction he created. He was surrounded by leaves and broken branches, blood pouring out of his hands and the fiery look he had in his eyes freaked out even Russia.

Now.. he was just a crumbled heap of tears.

"Mis hijitos... Mis bebes..." Spain sobs when suddenly he hears someone laugh.

"You were never one to hide emotions."

Spain looked up from his hands and saw Prussia holding gauze and a bottle of alcohol. He walked quietly to him, and motion him to show him his hands.

Spain sniffled, but obliged. Prussia hummed quietly as he cleaned his hands.

France smiled, and slowly ran his fingers through Spain s hair. He handed him Turron and Spain took it appreciatively, and began to nibble on it quietly.

Prussia then began to snicker.

"De que te reis.."

Spain raised an eyebrow, and Prussia then smiled.

"Cause we're the three best friends that anybody could have..." His voice was raspy, but it was melancholic. France groaned and Spain suddenly stilled.

"Cause we're the three best friends that anybody could have."

France groaned louder, when He finally sang in a soft and honey voice-

"Cause we're the three best friends that anybody could have."

Spain looked at his friends as they smiled at him. They both sang mechanically and they sang to him.

To him.

They cared about him. They wouldn't leave him alone. Sure they've had their wars, but they were countries.

Prussia was lost in a deep sadness that made him want to kill himself, France was lost in a darkness he didn't know how to deal with, and Spain was suffering in his seclusion.

Yet there they were Singing about being friends. About being friends. And it made him happy.

They made each other happy. They were there when no one else would be

Spain got up and hugged them both. And with his loudest and happiest voice he shouted.

"CAUSE WE RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE!"

And he cried. Laughing and crying he clutched his friends, who laughed along with him.

He cried because he was happy. This was enough.

He was happy being with people he loved, and that...

That was enough

000

The last part. The last part of the three parter.

I really enjoyed writing this, since i don t write from different P.O.V. s

You know i actually started this as a practice? Hm..

If you re wondering about why Spain's reaction is so large, in Season 4 they explained that Spain wasn't really good at keeping his emotions hidden.

I've always liked the idea that he would go into a fit after crying like this..

So..

Till next time!

-Alise

(want me to translate the spanish, message me cause i got lazy XD)


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